Today I ran into an old friend at the library. After exchanging updates and pleasantries, I asked Clare, a fellow empty-nester, what she has been doing to fill her time.
“I’m taking a math course,” she said. “And I’m loving it!” She smiled and pointed at her notebook. I looked down to see pages of math equations scattered on the desk.
Really?” I replied, trying to feign enthusiasm. “Are you taking this as a prerequisite for a degree?” “No, I’m just doing this because I want to,” replied Clare.
Wow, I thought, inwardly cringing at the idea of spending a beautiful spring day in the library working on math problems. Glad it’s not me! But then Clare went on to share an interesting observation.
“You know what I love about this?” she asked. “I love that the answers are black and white. I love that there are clear steps and a defined process you need to follow to solve the problems. There are no gray zones. You are either right or you’re wrong.”
She elaborated, “As a parent, you’re life is so fractured. You’re running around and having to make judgement calls on things that require a whole different type of thinking. This is clear-cut and I am really enjoying that. One plus one always equals two. The answers are definitive, no ambiguity.”
Clare went on to tell me about another friend who had enrolled in a chemistry class when faced with the empty nest. Like Clare, she found the opportunity to study formulas and equations, finite pieces of data, a welcome change from the on-the-fly thinking so prevalent during her parenting years.
I was impressed. Not that I would ever want to take chemistry or algebra again (once was more than enough, thank you) but it takes courage to go back to school to study the basics. Clare didn’t do it because she had to (she already has a law degree). She did it because she sensed her thinking was getting stale and she wanted better.
She is on to something. Too often, we allow ourselves to get complacent. We read the same types of books and watch the same type of television shows and eat at the same restaurants, over and over again. We opt for stability over stimulation, trade challenge for comfort, and before we know it, we have unknowingly limited our world of possibilities.
I’m not saying you need to go back to school to study math or chemistry or physics. But, next time you’re feeling stuck in a rut, mix things up a bit. If you’re mired in data all day, wake up the right side of your brain by going to a museum or listening to a concert or reading some poetry. Conversely, if you tend to make decisions by gut instinct alone, follow a detailed recipe for making a cake, complete a crossword puzzle or work on a Sudoko.
Call an old friend, talk to a neighbor with whom you think you have nothing in common, listen to the “other” cable station. Get out of your routines and wake up your thinking. You’ve got little to lose and might be surprised by what you could gain. Could be an interesting formula for success, no math required.